3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
