How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
