I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
