OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
