how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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