How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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