I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
