My room smells like vodka and shame
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
