I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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