fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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