You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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