Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
