Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
