remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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