just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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