So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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