My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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