He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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