I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize