Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
