She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
