DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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