A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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