sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
