Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize