forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
