I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
