would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
