If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
