I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
