I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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