I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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