i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize