So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
