The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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