I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
this will be a night to untag.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
