I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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