i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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