she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
