to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
