THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
