My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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