Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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