The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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