A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
dude. I can hear the air.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize