He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
