She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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