Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
