i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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