I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
