my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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