I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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