no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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