don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
