I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
