I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
