I CAN MOONWALK!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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