I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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