Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
